Helping people
make CHANGES® 
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Helping people
make CHANGES® |
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Topics:
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 | telephone interruptions |
| drop-in visitors |
| meetings (both scheduled and unscheduled) |
| business lunches |
| lack of objectives (unclear goals) |
| personal disorganization |
| procrastination |
| inability to say "no" to the requests of others |
| reading junk mail |
| paper shuffling |
| television |
| Get to work early when no one else is there. |
| Go to another room or office to work. |
| Lock the door. Tell people that you are not to be disturbed between the hours of _____&_____. |
| Use a red/green flag on desk. (Red = do not disturb!) |
| Learn to say "no." |
| For drop-in visitors: Remain standing until visitor leaves. |
| Screen calls. (By secretary or answering machine.) |
| Return calls in a block. ("I'll get back to you between two and three.") |
| When calling someone: Have an agenda. Get to the point. Get off quickly. Insert:"Before we hang up.." or "I only have a minute..." |
| Use your answering machine. |
| Handle each paper only once. If you pick it up, take action. |
(a) Toss it out. If you can't force yourself to toss it immediately, start a dump drawer for low priority items. Check it once a month, and usually you can throw things out then. Selective procrastination saves you from stewing over tossing it to begin with.
(b) Put it in a read at leisure pile.
(c) File it in an action file, or records file. (Example action files: Bills to be paid/ To be Filed/ Car Expenses)
| Have a place for everything, and keep everything in its place. |
| Set up a trivia session for some low-energy time to clean up low-priority items. |
| Delegate items on your to do list to someone else. Barriers to delegation: "I can do it better." "It takes too long to train someone." "If you want something done right you have to do it yourself." |
Generally, procrastination occurs either because a task is too big, and we don’t have time right now to do it, or the task is unpleasant, and we don’t really want to do it. Tax returns are a good example of both. Getting the receipts together, and completing the return will take forever – plus it’s a boring job – so we procrastinate. Besides, we tell ourselves, there’s plenty of time. The return isn’t due until April 15th.
Another example: It’s the beginning of the school semester, and the teacher assigns a term paper. We don’t have time to do it now, because it’ll take hours and hours. Besides, there’s plenty of time. The paper isn’t due until the end of the semester. (We all know the rest of the story.)
| They want to do it perfectly. |
| They fear success. (One of the risks attached to being successful is that friends and family members may be jealous. |
| They enjoy the last minute adrenalin rush. |
| Turn the project into Swiss cheese. Poke holes in it. Every large task consists of a series of smaller tasks joined together. Example: A house with one hundred windows in need of washing consists of 100 individual windows which can be washed one at a time, rather than all at the same time. |
| Make a list of steps involved in completing the project. |
| Promise yourself you can quit in five minutes if you want to. |
| Try a leading task. Sharpen your pencil. Get a piece of paper. Turn on the computer. Example: If you want to read a particular book, first buy the book, then leave in your favorite chair. |
| Give yourself a pep talk. If you believe something will be difficult, it will be. |
| First, list the main steps involved in completing the project. |
| Go to library. Copy pertinent articles. Borrow books on subject. |
| Read the books and articles. |
| Develop a reference list. (Use 3X5 cards.) |
| Write notes from books and articles. (Use 3X5 or 4X6 cards.) |
| Develop an outline from your notes. |
| Write (type) a first draft. |
| Revise. |
| Do nothing for a week. |
| Make final corrections and revisions. |
| Next, schedule the steps -- week by week -- in your calendar or time management diary. |
Finally, make a weekly to do list. From your weekly list, schedule blocks of time for projects. Each evening make a daily to do list for the next day. Prioritize the items: A,B,C.
| Work ahead of schedule. Allow for problems. (Remember Murphy’s Law: What can go wrong, will.) |
| Become familiar with your normal body rhythms and schedule your time accordingly. Example: If you do your errands and housework on Saturday morning, and then sit down to study in the afternoon, you may find yourself falling asleep. Try doing your studying in the morning when your mind is clearer, and do the chores in the afternoon. |
| When reading or studying, change from one subject to another every hour or so. |
| Intersperse your studying with errands, chores, and exercise breaks. |
| Don’t contaminate your time. Reserve your work space for working. (Don't do anything at your desk besides work. Don't eat.) Reserve your bedroom for sleeping. (Don’t work, eat or watch TV in the bedroom.) |
| Allocate time for self care. Don’t have time for exercise? Or to eat properly? Or to spend time with family and friends? |
| Pay yourself first. A money management expert would tell you to take 10% of your income off the top, and save it or invest it. Then live on what’s left. That same principle applies to time management. Pay yourself first. Take 10% of your time for yourself. Schedule time to exercise, to eat properly, and to socialize. Then make everything else you do fit in the time remaining. |
Do less:
1. toss/eliminate
2. say "no" to the requests of others
3. delegate work to others
Do it faster:
1. Filter interruptions.
2. Set priorities.
3. Work selectively. (Schedule blocks of time.)
4. Get organized. (Use an agenda planning diary.)
1. Plan. Make a list of what has to be done.
2. Prioritize. Decide which things are important and put them at the top of the list.
3. Schedule. Determine when you are going to do each of the tings on your list.
4. Follow through. Do things according to schedule, checking them off as you go.
| Clarify goals and objectives. Be specific. Write down your goals. Short term? Long term? What if you only had a year to live? Be reasonable and realistic. Goals must be attainable. |
| Translate your goals into behavioral objectives (activities you have to do in order to achieve your goal.) |
A stress reaction is a "fight or flight" response. It is how your body prepares to deal with an emergency situation. Physically, the body prepares to either do battle with someone or something, or to run like a bat out of you-know-what away from danger.
Let's look at some of the changes that take place in the body when we are having a stress reaction. Now, you may well be thinking "Why do I want to do that? Who cares about hormones and chemistry? Just tell me how to get unstressed."
We have two major stress reactivity pathways. Meaning: There are two different sets of reactions that prepare us for fight or flight.
The first is the autonomic nervous system, or more specifically, the sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system. The second is the endocrine system, and we'll get to that in a moment.
First lets look more closely at the autonomic nervous system. Autonomic means automatic, so these changes are not under our conscious control. This is the part of the nervous system which is activated during the alarm phase of a stress reaction.
Imagine for a moment that you step off the curb and almost get hit by a bus. You leap back out of the way, and after the fact you think: "Oh my god. I almost got killed." You notice that your heart is pounding, your breathing is excellerated, and your knees feel like rubber. Please note that the impulse to move did not come from a conscious thought. You didn't think: "Yoikes! There's a bus coming. I'd better leap out of the way."
Rather, first you leaped, and then you thought.
Visceral organs are innervated by fibers from both the sympathetic and parasympathetic divisions of the autonomic nervous system. Here's a sampling of some of the changes that take place when the sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system is activated. To understand the reason for the change think "efficiency." The body basically adapts to become the most efficient machine it can be.
| Pupils dilate Reason? To let in more light. This increases visual acuity. ("The better to see you with my dear.") |
| Saliva decreases Why? Saliva is a digestive fluid. If you are out in the jungle running from a a Saber Tooth Tiger, you are not likely to stop for a turkey sandwich. Digestion is not a priority function at the moment. Stopping the production of saliva effectively conserves body fluids, allowing for maximum blood volume. |
| Heart rate increases Reason? The faster the heart rate, the faster blood and oxygen are carried to the muscles, and the faster one can run as a result. |
| Bronchioles dilate (Bronchioles are the tube-like pathways that carry air into the lungs.) Why? The wider the bronchial opening, the more oxygen we can consume per breath, and the more energy we can generate per breath. |
| Intestinal secretions decrease Reason? Intestinal secretions have to do with digestion. During a physical emergency, blood is flowing from the heart and lungs to major muscle groups, and back again. Little blood flow is going towards digestion. |
| Blood vessels going to the surface of the body, and to hands and feet, constrict. Arteries carrying blood from the lungs to the heart, and carrying blood deep in the body to the major muscle groups in the legs, dilate. The net effect is to increase blood pressure, which enables blood to travel further and faster with every beat of the heart, and to send blood and oxygen where it most needs to go.. |
Once the danger is over the parasympathetic nervous systems kicks in to calm you down. Your pupils constrict. Saliva increases. Your heart rate decreases. The bronchioles in your lungs constrict, and intestinal secretions increase. Your blood vessels relax.
Now, in an acute situation that is over quickly -- like almost being struck by a bus -- the body soon calms itself down again. The emergency is over. Your heart rate and your breathing would quickly return to normal. But what if the emergency were ongoing?
Enter the endocrine system. The endocrine system consists of various glands located throughout the body which produce hormones. A hormone is a chemical messinger that travels via blood to other parts of the body in order to effect change. Once again, to understand which changes take place and why, think efficiency. The body is doing its best to make you the most efficient machine possible so that you can run as far and and fast as you need to.
A stressor is perceived by the brain...
The anterior hypothalamus releases a hormone called CRF (corticotrophic releasing factor) which tells the pituititary to release ACTH (adrenal corticotrophic hormone) which in turn tells the adrenal cortex to release cortisol and aldosterone into the blood.
Aldosterone is the adrenal hormone that causes sodium and water retention. This serves to increase blood volumne and minimize the risk of dehydration.
The function of cortisol is make sure the body has adequate fuel available during a fight or flight emergency. Under normal circumstances the body has only a few teaspoons of glucose in the blood and this could be rapidly used up by hungry muscles. Since the brain and the blood cells must have a constant supply of glucose, -- or you could go into a coma and die -- cortisol causes certain changes to take place to make sure there is glucose available.
| First, cortisol causes cells to become somewhat resistant to insulin. Normally, insulin moves glucose out of the blood into the cells where it will be burned for energy. Now, because the insulin doesn't work as well as usual, the glucose in the blood is reserved for use by the brain and the blood cells. |
| Next. Cortisol causes the breakdown and release of fat from the fat cells so that the muscles have an alternate source of fuel. |
| Third. Cortisol causes protein (amino acids) to be released from muscle tissue. The amino acids are carried to the liver where they are converted to glucose. The process is called "gluconeogenesis." (Gluco - neo - genesis.) It refers to the creation of new glucose from non-carbohydrate sources. Thus the body has fuel available even when it can't stop for a turkey sandwich. |
Conversely, heavier body types often produce more cortisol than adrenaline. Because cortisol creates insulin resistance, these heavier bodies tend to be hungrier, and will tend to gain weight during stress rather than losing.
Back to the anterior hypothalamus...
The hypothamus causes TRF (thyrotrophic releasing factor) to be released, which tells the pituitary gland to produce a hormone called TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone,) which in turn tells to thyroid to speed up production of thyroid hormone. Why? Thyroid hormone regulates the speed at which chemical reactions take place in the body. The more thyroid hormone, the faster your metabolism, the faster you can produce energy, and the faster you can run.
Occasionally, under prolonged stress, the thyroid gets carried away with itself and attempts to produce larger and larger amounts of thyroid hormone. The result is a condition called Grave's Disease or hyperthyroidism. There are two famous people who both developed Grave's Disease under stress. Former President George Bush and his wife Barbara. Barbara Bush developed Grave's Disease when her husband first ran for the Presidency. And President Bush developed Grave's Disease during the Gulf War. I, for one, don't have any problem understanding why. Both of those situations would have been extremely stressful.
However, what is interesting is the fact that two individuals who are not blood relatives, both developed the same stress-related illness. A more typical scenario would be for each person to develop a different stress-related disorder.
Bare with me now. I have two more hormones to talk about.
Oxytocin and vasopressin (aka anti-diuretic hormone) are released from the pituitary gland, because of a message from the hypothalamus that arrives via the nervous system.
Oxytocin causes constriction of smooth muscles, resulting in constriction in the walls of blood vessels. Vasopressin increases blood volume. Both of these hormones cause an increase in blood pressure.
Okay, go make yourself a cup of tea, take some deep breaths, and relax. That's enough physiology for one day.
For many of us, time management and stress management are one and the same. So much of what stresses us it seems, has to do with issues of time. There's too much to do, and never enough hours in the day. We are always in a hurry. Always chasing our tails. We eat fast, walk fast, and talk fast. We constantly struggle to get the chores done and out of the way so we have some time to ourselves. Time to relax. Time to enjoy life.
Perhaps the greatest mistake we make in time management is to fall into the trap of believing that life begins when the dishes are done.
Let me explain. At the beginning of the day we hurry off to work. We hurry through the day, then hurry off home to make dinner and wash the dishes. Once the dishes are done, then we can finally relax. And that's what living is all about, right? Relaxing? We can't wait to get the day over so we can enjoy ourselves.
Alas, when the dishes are done we have phone calls to make, a shirt to iron for tomorrow, a chapter to read for school, lunches to prepare, a dog to walk, etc.
We have no time to relax during the week, so we start living for the weekend. We can't wait for Saturday to get here so we can relax. Saturday comes, but we have house cleaning to take care of, groceries to buy, homework to do, and so on. Pretty soon it's Monday morning and we are hurrying off to work again.
We start to live for vacations. We can't wait for the year to be over so we can fly off somewhere and hurry up and have fun.
Life is always going to begin at some point in the future:
when we finish school,
when we get a promotion,
when we get married,
when we have children,
when we buy our dream house,
when the kids leave home....
Ultimately, we focus on retirement. We can't wait to retire, because that's when we can start to live.
We wake up one day, astounded to discover that we are seventy something years old, and life is a blur. We missed it. We focused on the future and missed the present. Life happened, but we weren't there to enjoy it.
The moral of this story is that life doesn't begin when the dishes are done. Rather, doing dishes is part of living. Happiness is in there... right underneath the soap suds. Pay attention.
Life is a series of successive moments of now. Now, is the only reality we have. In the present, we remember the past. In the present, we anticipate the future. If we spend our entire lives looking forward and backward, we miss the present.
Learning to manage time typically begins with life planning and goal setting. This is logical. We need to decide where we are going to know how to use our time effectively. Once we know which mountain we want to climb, we need to forget the goal - (the top of the mountain)- and focus on the process of climbing. If you learn nothing else on the subject of time management, learn this: Live your life one moment at a time, and focus on the present moment.
Remember the story of Sisyphus? He was the character from Greek mythology condemned by the Gods to spend an eternity rolling a rock to the top of the mountain. Each time he reached the top, the rock would roll down again to the bottom and he would have to start over. How futile! How boring! Why bother to live? Why not slash your wrists and end the misery? No, wait! Aren't we all in that same boat?
Think of all the repetitive, mundane chores and tasks that are a part of everyday life. Cooking dinner, doing the dishes, walking the dog, sweeping the floor, food shopping. What about your job? Aren't you frequently doing the same things repeatedly?
Like Sisyphus, we are all rolling our personal rocks to the top of the mountain. But it is not futile. Each time we roll the rock we must remember to do it for the first time. There is an expression that says: "A man never steps in the same river twice." Think for a moment. If yesterday you dipped your foot in the river, and today you do it again, it is not the same river. The water has been flowing steadily, therefore, the water molecules are new. Your foot is not the same today as it was 24 hours ago. Nor are you the same. We are constantly changing as we interact with the world around us.
It doesn't matter that we must repeatedly roll a rock to the top of the mountain. Today's a new day. It's a new rock. And we are different as well. There is no rule that says we can't stop from time to time, turn around, sit, lean our backs against the rock, and take time to enjoy the view. In other words, take time to smell the roses. Become conscious of the miracles that are a part of everyday life. Roses, rainbows, sunsets, kittens at play.
For every thing there is a season and a time. A time to eat, a time to sleep, a time to work, a time to play, a time to love, a time to pray or meditate. A good time manager is not the person who gets everything done. The good time manager gets the important things done, and has time in his or her life for family, friends, and self-care. Workaholics are often quite successful, and even happy. Their stress comes not from what they do, but from what they don't do. They frequently fail to take care of themselves. They have no time for exercise, no time to stop for lunch, and at the end of the day there's no time left over for play and socializing. Their lives have no balance, and eventually they burn themselves out as a result.
One of the first recognizable symptoms of stress is often a change in eating habits. Please note, I said a change in eating habits. What the change consists of will vary from person to person, and from time to time. Some of us, when stressed, may find ourselves polishing off a bag of cookies. We are using food as a coping response. Others frequently find themselves relatively unable to eat when stressed.
The variables here are (a) body type, and (b) acute versus chronic stress.
If you are physically high strung – which typically means thin, with low blood pressure – even modest amounts of stress with kill your appetite. Thin, high strung individuals have a lot of adrenalin flowing. Adrenalin is a stimulant, and stimulants are appetite suppressants. If your blood pressure tends to be low you will also be prone to adrenalin surges whenever your blood sugar is drops.
If you have a stockier build you are more apt to use food as a coping response. Eating for you may activate the parasympathetic nervous system and bring on a relaxation response.
I hope you see the paradox here. Those who most need to eat, can’t. (This is one of the reasons the thin stay thin.) Those who don’t need food, eat more and gain weight.
Chronic stress - the day-in, day-out petty annoyances and aggravations – are most apt to trigger an eating response.
Acute stress – that’s when the house burns down, you’ve just been fired from your job, and the dog is in the hospital – tends to take away the appetite of even the most dedicated chow hound. So much adrenalin is flowing during acute periods of stress that we can’t eat. Typically people lose weight during times of acute stress.
A minute ago I said that eating activates the parasympathetic nervous system. It helps us calm down. That’s true, but that’s not the only reason we reach for food when stressed.
| That’s what we were taught to do as children. Think about it. The first time a baby cries in his crib someone sticks a bottle in his mouth. When we cry, we get a cookie, or a sweet. First trip to the dentist? Have a lollipop. First haircut? Have an ice cream cone. |
| When you were one, and having a screaming tantrum, no doubt your mother gave you a bottle to shut you up. And it didn’t matter that you threw the bottle across the room and slammed it against the wall. She dusted off the nipple and stuck it back in your mouth. You threw it again, and she fetched it again. And eventually you curled up in a fetal position with your bottle in you mouth and fell asleep. |
| Food calms us physically. Food in the stomach diverts a certain amount of blood flow away from the brain and into the digestive tract. Hence, we get sleepy after a big meal. (This is why people pass out in their mashed potatoes after Thanksgiving dinner.) |
| Food calms us biochemically. When we eat carbohydrate-containing foods it tends to increase the brains level of a neurotransmitter called serotonin. Serotonin has a calming, sleep-inducing effect on the body. Some health professionals theorize that people who overeat on carbohydrates - sugars and starches – are attempting to self-medicate. Unconsciously, they reach for carbohydrates in an effort to raise their serotonin level. |
On a short term basis, if you have a few cookies at the end of a high stress day, it’s no big deal. But on a long term basis, if you take in calories you don’t need, you’ll gain weight and/or develop health problems.
Practice other forms of relaxation. Treat yourself to a bubble bath, or a massage. Do some yoga stretches, some breath meditation. Just because you learned to reach for food in response to stress, you’re not stuck there. You can learn to do something else.
In part one of Nutrition & Stress, we talked about the fact that a change in eating habits is often one of the early recognizable symptoms of stress.
Often we get too busy to eat properly. We grab food on the run, convenience food, fast food, vending machine food. Or we skip meals altogether for lack of time. We drink too much coffee, and unwind with alcohol. Whatever the excuse we consume fewer nutrients during a period of time when we need optimum nutrition.
Let’s look at some of the nutrients we may need more of because of stress:
| Vitamin C Vitamin C is found in the body in two places: (1) our white blood cells, and (2) our adrenal glands. In the adrenal glands it helps in the production of stress hormones like epinephrine. Under high stress conditions it gets depleted. When that happens we are more susceptible to infection, and to bruising, bleeding, and even hemorrhage. The reason? Vitamin C is require for the production of collagen, or connective tissue. When our vitamin C level drops we quite literally come unglued and start to bleed. |
| Magnesium Magnesium has many functions in the body –
literally hundreds – including the production of energy, the manufacture of certain
neurotransmitters – like serotonin – and regular heartbeat. It is magnesium that
enables a muscle to relax after it has contracted. When we are stressed and the body
releases epinephrine, our muscles often tense as part of the fight or flight response.
When that happens, magnesium gets pulled out of our cells, and we can end up with a
magnesium deficiency and muscles that are locked in tension. Many symptoms of stress --
apathy, depression, forgetfulness, an inability to concentrate, muscle spasms, twitching,
and a tendency to startle easily -- are actually symptoms of magnesium deficiency. Food sources of magnesium? Chocolate and peanut butter. Oops. Did I really say that? Magnesium is found in dark green vegetables, nuts and seeds, and legumes. Chocolate comes from the cocoa bean, and peanuts are goober peas, both members of the legume family. |
| Pantothenic acid Vitamin B5 is needed for the production of epinephrine. Under high stress conditions it gets used up. So the more of it we have available the longer we will be able to produce epinephrine, and the longer we will last before we wear out, fall apart, get sick, or – God forbid – die. |
| Zinc If the stress we are experiencing is physical –
surgery, trauma, burn, or strenuous exercise – we will need more zinc. We need zinc
to grow new skin cells, therefore we need it to heal.
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Sometimes when we are stressed we feel wired, nervous and overstimulated. At other times, we feel fatigued, exhausted and unable to get out of bed. Certain body types are more apt to feel nervous and high strung, and certain other types are more apt to feel exhausted.
As a general rule, if you are feeling exhausted it is possible to increase your protein consumption in order to have more energy. Conversely, if you are high strung and you need to unwind, it is possible to increase your carbohydrate intake to raise your serotonin levels and calm yourself down.
It is not uncommon for people to start use mood altering substances when they are stressed. Sleeping pills for insomnia. Tranquilizers for anxiety. Anti-depressants to improve mood. Unfortunately, all of these substances have side effects, or are addicting. There are a number of nutritional and/or herbal products that seem to offer a safer choice.
| Magnesium Taken before bed, this mineral has both muscle relaxant effects and sleep-inducing effects. It probably works by increasing serotonin levels. |
| Inositol This nutritional supplement is reported to be effective for insomnia. |
| Tryptophan This amino acid is converted into serotonin, and has a calming, sleep-inducing, and anti-depressant effect on the body. It is only available by prescription, and from a compounding pharmacy. |
| 5HTP 5-hydroxy tryptophan is the intermediate between tryptophan and serotonin. It is available over the counter. |
| Valerian Root This herb has a sleep-inducing effect. |
| Kava Kava This herb is used for its anti-anxiety effects. |
| St. John’s Wort Useful for mild to moderate depression. |
| SAMe This is an expensive supplement, but considered one of the best for depression. |
Something happens.
Let's say your spouse (substitute boss, mother, or whoever) yells at you. You experience an emotional response. You feel angry, hurt, sad. You say to yourself, "He (she, it) hurt my feelings," or "He made me angry." Sounds logical, but it's not accurate.
If you said, "He yelled at me, and I don't like to be yelled at," that would be accurate. But he did not hurt your feelings or make you angry. You made yourself angry. (Don't sit there saying "But, but, but..." Hear me out.)
We feel the way we think. If we feel angry, it is because we are thinking angry thoughts. If we feel hurt, we are thinking thoughts that are hurtful. If someone yells at us we engage in self-talk. We say to ourselves something like, "He's mad at me. He doesn't like me." We give meaning to the thing that has just happened. And we are hurt because of our own self-talk. We are hurt because we think that this is a terrible thing that has just happened. In effect, we hurt our own feelings. Which brings me to the punch line... if you want to change the way you feel, change the way you think.
Let's look at another example. There you are, stuck in a traffic jam. You fly into a rage and start cursing and beating the steering wheel to death.
You think, "This makes me so mad. Why do these things happen to me?"
The traffic jam has not made you mad. You have made yourself mad by:
Irrational? Moi? Yes, you. Your thinking becomes irrational because of your underlying belief that bad things shouldn't happen to good people. You think it's not fair.
Let's try some rational thinking. First, this is a traffic jam, not a diagnosis of a fatal illness. It is at worst an annoyance, but it certainly isn't worth dying over. And that's what your anger will eventually do for you, create enough negative energy to make you sick. And, where is it written that life is supposed to be fair?
The next time you are stuck in a traffic jam, relax. Take a deep breath. Don't turn it into a catastrophe. And if you are stuck in a traffic jam every day at this same time, learn a lesson from your experience. Maybe it's time to find a different route, or a new mode of transportation, or to travel at a different hour.
The next time someone snaps at you, detach, stand back. Observe the person's behavior without reacting to it. Tell yourself, "Wow. He sounds like he is having a bad day."
The next time you hear yourself think,"This place is driving me nuts!" Stop. Tell yourself, "This place is a challenge, and I'm actually handling it very well." Bring the mountain back down to molehill size.
The stress management technique I am describing to you is called cognitive restructuring, which is a fancy way of saying "changing self-talk."
Let's review.
Own those emotions. They're yours. You created them. If you don't like the emotions you feel, you can get rid of them by changing the way you think.
A reminder: We are often stressed by the behavior of other people. They don't always do what we - in our wisdom - know they should. Alas, we have no power over other people. We can't make them change. You will never learn to manage your stress if you keep your focus on what someone else is doing wrong. Rather, focus on yourself. Change what you have control over, which is your reaction to the other person.
e- mail: jackiestorm@jackiestorm.com BIO
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